A friend on facebook asked me: “How long have you practicsed magic and and studied it practically?”
I answered and went a bit above the topic of the question. I thought I share it.
I started when I was 14ten, so it was 20 years ago. I didn’t consider it magick back then. I just red books about power of the mind. My life was crappy back then so I decided to changed it and started affirming things I wanted to transform. It was summer. And when I got back to school again (fresh class of high school) everything was different! I also started doing visualizations (along with my mom) for protection for someone. At some point, I realized that my thought forms are solid and I can feel them with my mind. I already knew that thinking reflects on reality so I knew what I can do. I started experimenting and improvising. I wanted certain effect and spontaneously was focusing and inventing energy forms to conjure desired effect. It went well so I started using it on regular basis but not everyday. Just when I needed it, because permanent way of thinking was more important to me then episodic spells, because you live your live every day so you need that better, solid reality for yourself and that was created by conscious and not so conscious thought patterns (programs). So when I identified things that went wrong, I researched what was the cause to change the pattern. Magick does just that, but in a symbolical way. I was just working on it directly.
And so it went, years passed, my knowledge was changing, increasing. That didn’t protect me from some major mistakes . The thing is, your thought patterns (programs) are so close to you, that despite self analysis, you are often oblivious to them because you are so used to them. And when you don;t see them, you can’t know what to fix. And even when you finally find some major issue, sometimes you still have troubles to start solving it. But eventually I did find solution and it changed my life again, for the better of course. And along the way some family problems (cancer) came along the way but armored with knowledge, we (whole family) used all our resources to help and we succeeded once more! But in meantime, I tried to live my life the way I want and be happy, despite some things to deal with and I did. I was happy and I still am, even more so. It all proved me, that what I, what we (as a family) are doing works! Problems only strengthened us! Because issues were not easy, results are much sweeter . I have now exciting projects (my new business) so there is much things to be happy about it. I am healthy, have good relationships, I am fulfilling my dreams – I can’t complain. I still have lot of goals to achieve (lot of money, more exciting travels, building new big businesses, teaching others, helping other satanists – want to build not just a coven but also an organization of wealthy satanists for various projects, you need money to pull things through, etc.) butt I enjoy the process. Man has to have goals and know what he wants.
That’s in short summary.
And of course few years ago I met Satan which caused me to fall in love with Him. That gave me enormous energy boost and I enjoy it furthermore ;). But this story is in another place here :).